Rocket Launch Today: What Happened and Why You Should Care
Florida's Space Coast Hits 101 Launches?! Who Actually Cares?
Alright, so Florida's Space Coast is patting itself on the back for hitting 101 rocket launches this year. Big deal. We're supposed to be impressed? Like, "Oh wow, they shot a bunch of metal tubes into the sky, how amazing."
The "Game Changer" That Isn't
Col. Brian Chatman calls it a "complete game changer." Let's be real: what's actually changed for the average person besides maybe slightly increased noise pollution and the vague anxiety that one of these things is gonna fall on their house? It's just more Starlink satellites clogging up the sky, and let's not even start on Elon's ego trip...
He says they're "identifying efficiencies, getting additional mass to orbit." Translation: They're figuring out how to launch even MORE junk into space, faster. For what? So we can have marginally better internet? I'm sure the birds and astronomers are thrilled.
And the best part? They're already planning for more. Chatman thinks they'll break 100 launches again next year, and could see 300 launches a year by 2040. Three. Hundred. Launches. Give me a break. What, are we trying to turn the Earth into a giant, orbiting landfill?
Meanwhile, Out West...
While Florida's busy turning the sky into a highway, California's Vandenberg Space Force Base is prepping for another Starlink launch, too. Sunday, November 23rd, they're sending up another batch of these things. A four-hour launch window. Four hours of waiting around in the cold, hoping you get to see a flash of light before it disappears into the atmosphere.
They give you viewing locations. 13th Street and Arguello Boulevard, Floradale Avenue and West Ocean Avenue...sound romantic, don't they? More like a traffic jam of nerds with telescopes.
And of course, the obligatory warning: "Postponements due to weather or issues with rockets are common." Translation: Don't get your hopes up. You'll probably drive out there, freeze your ass off, and then get told to go home because something went wrong. But hey, at least you got to breathe some fresh California air, right?
They're launching 28 Starlink satellites on a Falcon 9. The same Falcon 9 that's been doing this for years. It's the "world's most active" rocket, apparently. Active like a goddamn honeybee hive, buzzing around, doing the same thing over and over again.
And the sonic booms? Residents of Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, and Ventura counties get to enjoy "brief, thunder-like noises" for up to 10 minutes. Ten minutes of your house rattling while some billionaire plays space cowboy. Sounds like a blast.
Oh, and the booster's gonna land on a drone ship called "Of Course I Still Love You." Seriously? Did someone in SpaceX get paid to come up with that name? Sounds like a rejected emo band from 2008.
Starlink: The Savior of Rural Internet?
Starlink is supposed to be this amazing thing that brings internet to rural areas. And maybe it does, for some people. But let's not pretend it's some kind of selfless act. It's a business, plain and simple. Musk is making bank off this, while we're all paying for it in one way or another, whether it's through taxes, subscription fees, or just the general degradation of the night sky.
They say the satellites operate from a "low-Earth orbit," which allows for "lower latency." Okay, cool. So I can stream cat videos in HD out in the boonies. Is that really worth turning the planet into a launchpad? I mean, is it? Am I missing something here? Probalby.
So, What's the Point?
It's all just...so pointless. This relentless pursuit of "progress" that nobody actually asked for. We're throwing rockets into space like they're goddamn fireworks, and for what? So some rich dude can get richer and we can all argue about politics on Twitter at slightly faster speeds? Ain't buying it.