NVDA Earnings: What's the Prediction and When's the Date?

Okay, let's get real. Everyone's losing their minds over Nvidia (NVDA) earnings again. Like clockwork. It's always the "most consequential corporate event of the quarter," blah, blah, blah. Give me a break.

The AI Mirage

They're calling it an "AI infrastructure inflection point." Inflection point my ass. More like peak hype. We're supposed to believe that Nvidia's earnings will "determine the trajectory of AI infrastructure investment narratives." Translation: if NVDA does well, the gravy train keeps rolling for the tech bros. If they stumble, suddenly everyone will realize AI is just a bunch of overhyped algorithms sucking up venture capital.

And don't even get me started on the "scrutiny" of data center revenue growth and Hopper chip demand. Who actually understands this stuff besides the guys in Silicon Valley wearing those stupid Patagonia vests? Seriously, does anyone outside of a server room know what a "Hopper chip" even is?

Here's what I want to know: are these massive data centers actually doing anything useful? Or are they just giant electricity hogs training chatbots to write bad poetry?

Retail's Grim Reality

Then there's the "retail earnings trilogy." Home Depot (HD), Target (TGT), Walmart (WMT). Oh goody, more corporate giants telling us how screwed we are.

Home Depot's supposed to give us "insights into home improvement spending." Translation: are people still dumb enough to take out a second mortgage to renovate their kitchens? Target will tell us about "middle-income consumer health." Which is code for: are people still buying overpriced throw pillows while drowning in debt? And Walmart will reveal "value-seeking behavior." AKA, how many people are fighting over the last can of beans at 3 AM.

I'm already depressed just thinking about it. Maybe I should invest in a bunker...

Oh, and speaking of depressing, let's not forget the Fed. Wednesday's FOMC meeting minutes will supposedly offer "clues about internal debates regarding the December rate cut decision." As if those clowns have any idea what they're doing. Rate cut, no rate cut – it's all just a bunch of educated guesses based on manipulated data. What's even the point?

And the jobs report? Delayed! Offcourse it is. Because nothing says "healthy economy" like hiding the unemployment numbers.

China: The Wild Card

PDD (PDD) and Baidu (BIDU) earnings are also on the radar, apparently. Supposedly, they'll provide "critical perspectives on Chinese consumer behavior." Right. Because we can totally trust anything coming out of China. Let's be real, it's all propaganda and cooked books.

And the trade war? Please. It's just a pissing contest between two superpowers who are both run by egomaniacs.

But wait, are we really supposed to believe that Temu is going to take over Amazon? That's what the analysts are predicting, right? Maybe I'm the crazy one here, but something doesn't add up. According to Nvidia, Walmart earnings, and the return of jobs numbers: What to watch this week, there is much to anticipate this week.

So, What's the Real Story?

It's all a house of cards. The AI hype, the consumer spending, the China narrative—it's all built on sand. And when the next black swan event comes along, the whole thing is going to collapse. I'm not saying NVDA earnings will be the trigger, but... I ain't holding my breath for good news.